Normalcy

It occurred to be today, as I surreptitiously took a pill and washed it down with soda from Noon Conference, that I'm actually pretty normal. Yeah, I've had my issues- and I've started the process of telling my story via my blog, but right now, I take medication, I see my doctor every so often, and I'm actually living a relatively normal life.

Of course, I have the aggravation that goes along with having a chronic illness- I have to make sure I've always got health insurance. Sometimes my health insurance doesn't cover the full cost of my medications (as in right now) and I have to beg the drug companies to supply me with free meds. Also, I have to make sure when I travel that I bring my medications with me, enough not only for the duration of my trip, but also a little bit extra should something unexpected occur. I was on vacation earlier this year and had the opportunity to stay longer than initially planned. Sadly, I didn't have enough medication. I could have had my doctor call in a few days of medication, but I would have had to pay out of pocket. So, I went home as initially planned. Had I actually had extra medication, I am sure my sunburn would have been much worse than it was. So maybe I was lucky. But, anyway, it's just one of those issues anyone with a chronic illness can probably relate to.

In a way this helps me with patient care. I'll ask patients if they can afford their meds. When they cannot, I actually can point them in the direction of helpful resources.

Another advantage is that I am very knowledgable abut the meds that I take, and this can sometimes give me the appearance of having read a lot. On rounds, when I pipe up, "Well, perhaps Wellbutrin isn't the best because it lowers the seizure threshold..." it might appear that I spent the previous day poring over UpToDate.

Prescription Drugs

I just got a shipment of medications from Glasko Smith Kline. Whenever I get a package, I excitedly shake it like a little kid on Christmas. And when I hear the moroca-y sound of lots of tiny pills tumbling around inside their plastic bottles, I get very excited. Because this means that another month has gone by where I will NOT have to pay twelve hundred dollars for my medications.

Yes, my medications cost 1200 per month. And getting help from the drug companies was like pulling teeth. I HAVE insurance, so I didn't technically qualify for most of the programs. The fact that my insurance caps out at 2,000 dollars a year didn't seem to count when I first applied. So I appealed. And in some cases, I appealed again. Finally I'm at the point where most of my drugs are supplied for free through some of these prescription drug charity programs.

This makes me really mad about being bipolar. Most things can be fixed. Relationships can be repaired, tattoos can be lasered away (If I were to so desire), but I will always be a slave to the pharmacy. Always always always. In day to day life, it seems easy enough. I get my prescriptions, I go to the pharmacy (or as is the case right now, I get my drugs from the companies), I take my pills... everything's fine. The trouble comes when I realize I'm running out of medication and I forgot to tell my doctor I needed another prescription. Sometimes when I'm planning to go on vacation, I realize I'm set to run out of medication right smack in the middle of the week. And sometimes, if you've got your 90 day supply, you can't get another batch of pills until that 90 days are up. So if you're going on vacation at day 85, and you need 10 days worth of pills during your vacation, you may not be able to get those extra 5 pills before leaving. That means you have to carry a prescription with you, and make a visit to the pharmacy wherever you happen to be.

The inconvenience isn't a big deal in and of itself- I don't sit around thinking about it, crying over it... it's just that it's a reminder.

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